Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
