**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
