I think i peed on brittanys purse
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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