Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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