need another drink. this is the easiest way
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Bring me that man meat
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
