if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
