question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
