North Korea, Best Korea!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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