You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
