Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
