This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize