Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
