I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
