I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
