I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
