his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
