with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
