Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
