Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
