Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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