Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
