seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize