At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
