i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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