he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Too much gin, very little bucket
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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