You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
