so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
