he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
