grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
