I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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