Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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