She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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