i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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