I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As shirtless as possible
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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