I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This is the high leading the old right now
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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