Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
