Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
