Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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