you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Can Purell be used as lube?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
