He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
