i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
