my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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