i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
