suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I want a musical about memes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
