I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
