just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize