Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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