Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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