RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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