Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
