All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize