Plan B is the new Plan A
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
