a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so let's talk penis.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
