The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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