so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
