That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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