Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
