He had one of those small greek statue penises
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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