you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
