like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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