Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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