Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
