She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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