he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize