I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
