Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize