I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
