i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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