forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
