Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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