i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
