2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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